Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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