i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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