i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
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Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
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They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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