I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize