It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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