Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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