she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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