bring money and cleavage
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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