I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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