i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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