I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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