ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize