did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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