I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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