So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize