rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
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I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
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In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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