Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize