i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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