had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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