Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.

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(613): View more from Ontario

There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.

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(904): View more from Florida

Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!

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(207): View more from Maine

He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.

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