If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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