Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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