i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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