What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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