he wants to bone in the snuggie
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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