absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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