Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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