Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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