i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize