He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
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Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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