I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize