No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
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He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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