fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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