just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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