Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
well you can't waste a boner
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
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For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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