I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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