god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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