I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize