you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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