tell your sister to shave her snatch
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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