He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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