About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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