K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize