There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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