people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize