you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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