I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize