And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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