The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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