WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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