You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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