I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize